Chronic

Living in chronic pain is a hard thing to do. I have had chronic pain for the last 13 years and it is really getting harder as I get older.

I have always thought I have a high tolerance for pain. Natural childbirth hurt, but at least the end was near. Living with pain day in and day out is a whole other subject.

No one has been able to diagnose why I have the pain I have. I thought for sure it was fibromyalgia, but apparently I have all the symptoms except for one, the one that makes it fibro. So, I try to manage the pain and hope for the best. For a while I was taking 4 Ibprofin every 4 hours, but apparently that doesn’t mesh with the high blood pressure. Now I am on a pill for chronic pain, that takes the edge off, but does not take away the pain. This pill also gives me pleasant (ha) side effects of nausea and constipation. Yeah. Should I go off the pills or stay on them? I just don’t know. When I started to try to wean off, the pain came back full force and “taking the edge off” didn’t seem so bad!

The  stigma of living with the chronic pain is tough to handle. No, I am not lazy, nor do I not care about my home or my family and , NO I am not just a whiner. Ugh. My husband has always been patient, but now that it has not gone away for a long time, he is getting tired of me dealing with it.

It is a tough place to be.